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MODERN CHINESE SOCIETY AND THE FAMILY [Compton's] Traditionally the family has been the most important unit of society, and this is still true. In rural areas, where about 74 percent of China's people live, the traditional family consisted of the head of the household, his sons, and their wives and children, often living under one roof.Common surnames gave families membership in a clan.In other words, it’s as if their rules of etiquette don’t apply when dealing with strangers on the street — replaced by an every-man-for-himself code of conduct. Another factor to keep in mind is that China’s history — both long-term and as recently as a generation ago — has largely been one of survival of the fittest.In the face of famines, wars, floods, and other countless hardships, families learned to survive by sticking together…which also meant being indifferent to the suffering of the desperate, anonymous masses.If Asian men on screen are to be easily vanquished, so are Asian male leaders in real state-to-state relations.Even as Fortune columnist Stanley Bing writes in the title of his book, Sun Tzu is “a sissy.” This “lightness of being portrayed” can be seen historically in the descriptions of Asian male leaders such as Ho Chi Minh and Mao Zedong, and now even of Kim Jong Il.They almost all expect foreigners to be clueless to their customs so any possible offenses will be overlooked.

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It didn’t matter that he was spoken for, with a modelesque girlfriend that seemed worlds (and heavens) away from the mortal girl I was.

Thus, as China's population grew, the landholdings became smaller and smaller, and many people were very poor.

In the first half of the 20th century the family as a social unit came under severe stress.

The etiquette rules that were hammered into them by their mothers have ceased to apply: Don’t talk with your mouth full and stop slurping! Which is to say, neither is “right” or “wrong,” despite the universal tendency to view our own culture as somehow “normal” (a term I learned in Sociology 101: “ethnocentric”).

The good news is that the Chinese give laowai (foreigners) a lot of leeway when it comes to etiquette.




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If you don’t know how to deal with the tests that women throw at you, you have VERY LITTLE chance of improving your success in the dating world. For most guys, the concept of a woman “testing” them seems a little strange. TEST: A DEFINITION So I was thinking about this particular topic today, and I realized that I’ve never looked up the definition of the word “test”. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one’s eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete’s endurance. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. A basis for evaluation or judgment: “A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together” (Haynes Johnson). When a woman asks you to buy her something, she’s testing you. You’ve failed a million tests with women already, so don’t worry about ten more. Most men respond by trying to win the woman’s approval.


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