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By Judith Silverstein, Michael Lasky The Internet is a strange place, and what seems abnormal for in-person experiences is completely common on the Internet.Notice that the word is common, not polite or considerate.In many ways, he’s right: Never-married heterosexual men over the age of 40 have always had a stigma. (A lot of gay men, yes, but also a lot of straight dudes who care more about their triathlon training than tying the knot.) “The guys over 40 I’ve dated all have the Peter Pan complex,” she says. Worse: Many still have roommates and wear backpacks. “There are always exceptions.”Even, apparently, in New York City, another hub of never-marrieds.Especially back in 1970, when they represented only 4.9 percent of the male population. Unless, of course, the perpetual bachelor is George Clooney — and let’s be honest, most aren’t. Anyone with salt-and-pepper hair who shows up in your online matches as “Never Married” might as well come with a flashing Warning Sign, say women with marital aspirations who date them anyway. A physician named Amy says she was “totally wary” of her now-husband, who was 42 when they first met.As an employee at a luxury brand shop, she is surrounded by luxury products, but has none of her own.

"explore for gold, examine land with a view to a mining claim," 1841, from prospect (n.) in specialized sense of "spot giving prospects of ore" (1832).

“I’m getting married in fall 2013,” my 38-year-old friend John told me, when we caught up in Paris the summer before. “Because if you’re a single guy after that, it’s like, you know, ’What’s wrong with him? Very conscious of his life choices, of his — some might say — semi-misogynistic way with women. Or, rather, they are dissected, thoroughly examined — not by a class of seventh-graders using microscopes but by a table of 30-something women, well into their third bottle of wine. over the sad fact that never-married women of a certain age aren’t players; they’re pitied.

“But I’ll be married by 40,” said the guy who’s deliberately been a player for the past two decades. But in a way, steadfastly heterosexual single men over 40 are sort of pitied too.

Granted, for some people, a more heavy-handed approach is necessary. Polite is good, but if it doesn’t work, try sterner and firmer. If you need further coaching, go to your local electric company’s customer service department and see how it handles you when you try to dispute a bill by saying, “I never used that electricity.” Many appropriate ways are available to encourage someone to move along. This article points out the major ways to do so in specific situations.

Say that you get an e-mail from someone, and you can tell immediately that you have no interest in communicating with that person.




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